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To my newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

Are you one of the many people living in the limbo I describe as divorced but not separated?

This week, I explore something I see a lot: men and women who want and need to move on after divorce, but who remain emotionally stuck in the past, unwilling or unable to disconnect from the marriage.

✨ Inside this post:

• What it really means to be “divorced but not separated” 💔
• Why emotional detachment can be harder than the legal process 🧠
• Three things that helped me shift from stuck to strong 💪
• A list of common things we hold onto—and how to start letting go 🎒
• Reflection questions to help you step into your next chapter with clarity 🔍

If you’re feeling stuck in the past, this one’s for you. 💛

Question: 

It’s been months since the divorce was finalized, but I still find myself hoping we’ll get back together or that things will somehow go back to the way they were. Is that normal?

Answer:

Yes, and it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. A lot of people feel this way, especially if the divorce wasn’t what they wanted or if they’re still deeply tied to the idea of how their life “should have” looked. 

Even when the relationship had real problems, it can be hard to let go of the dream you had—of growing old together, of family traditions, of the shared identity. Emotional separation takes longer than legal separation. 

It’s okay to be in this middle space, and it helps to name it for what it is: a part of the process, not a failure.

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

When my 20-year marriage ended, I was blindsided. I had to grieve not just the relationship, but the identity I had built around it. 

In this podcast episode, I share how I found my footing again by focusing on my kids as my “North Star,” setting clear boundaries, and learning to make decisions based on who I wanted to become, not how I felt in the moment.

There’s no magic wand for divorce. But there is a way through it—with clarity, support, and a strong sense of self. 

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.