Co-Parenting College-Age Kids: A New Season of Parenting Together

If you’ve been co-parenting through the elementary, middle, and high school years, you’re used to a certain rhythm: school drop-offs, sports schedules, teacher conferences, and the logistics of daily life. When your child heads off to college, that rhythm changes dramatically.

Suddenly, you’re not negotiating whose house has the soccer cleats or who’s picking up from debate practice. Instead, you’re navigating financial decisions, travel plans, and emotional check-ins from a young adult who’s learning to manage life on their own. This stage brings more space between you and your co-parent, and more opportunities to build an individual, adult-to-adult relationship with your child.

But like every phase of parenting, it has its own challenges.

When Your Child Leans More on One Parent

It’s common for a college student to reach out to one parent more than the other, especially when they’re stressed, overwhelmed with coursework, or feeling lonely. This isn’t necessarily a reflection of favoritism. Sometimes, it’s timing: if your child knows you’re available late at night or that you respond faster to texts, you might be their go-to for mid-semester meltdowns.

The question is - do you tell your co-parent?

The answer depends on the situation:

• If it’s about safety, health, or well-being (serious mental health concerns, illness, or financial emergencies), share the information quickly and directly.
• If it’s about everyday stress (homesickness, roommate drama, a tough exam), it may be fine to keep the conversation private unless your child asks you to loop the other parent in or you think their perspective would help.

The key is balance. Respect your child’s privacy while remembering that co-parenting works best when both parents have enough information to be supportive in their own way.

Parents’ Weekend and Visits

Parents’ Weekend can be tricky for divorced families. Do you go together? Alternate years? Go separately? There’s no one right answer. It depends on your comfort level, your co-parent’s, and your child’s wishes.

Some options to consider:

• Together, if you’re on good terms and your child would enjoy having both of you there at once.
• Separate visits, either during Parents’ Weekend or at different times in the semester.
• Split the schedule - one parent attends official Parents’ Weekend events, the other visits later for a more relaxed, one-on-one trip.

If you can, talk to your child first. This is about their experience as much as yours, and they may have a strong preference.

Splitting Expenses

When your child is in college, new expenses pop up: travel home for breaks, extra supplies, study abroad programs, even the occasional “emergency” meal delivery during finals week.

A few ways co-parents handle it:

• Divide evenly: Each parent covers half of agreed-upon expenses, no matter who books or pays first.
• Split by category: One covers travel costs, the other covers extras like dorm furnishings or tech upgrades.
• Alternate payments: Parent A covers the Thanksgiving flight, Parent B covers winter break travel.

The important part is clarity - agree ahead of time what “shared expenses” include and how you’ll handle them. A shared spreadsheet or budgeting app can make it easier.

Building Individual Relationships

One of the gifts of this stage is that you can interact with your child outside of the day-to-day logistics of parenting. Conversations can shift toward what they’re studying, their opinions on current events, or even their dreams for life after graduation.

You get to know your child as a young adult and they get to know you in a new light, too. This can be especially meaningful if you and your co-parent don’t have younger children at home anymore. The constant coordination fades, and you’re free to connect with your child in your own style, without as much overlap or interference.

What You Really Need to Talk About with Your Co-Parent

At this stage, communication with your co-parent can be simpler and less frequent. In most cases, you’ll only need to discuss:

• Health or safety concerns
• Major financial decisions
• Travel and holiday arrangements
• Academic issues that could affect their future (e.g., probation, major changes)

Everything else—everyday calls, minor struggles, small wins—can often stay between you and your child, unless they want to share.

A Season of More Space—and More Trust

Co-parenting a college-age child is less about constant coordination and more about mutual trust. You trust your child to navigate more of life on their own, and you trust your co-parent to handle their part without constant updates.

It’s also a time to release some of the old tension. Without the daily grind of joint parenting decisions, there’s room for both of you to focus on your own lives—and to show up for your child in ways that feel authentic and supportive.

College is a milestone for your child, but it’s also a milestone for you. Give yourself credit for reaching this stage. Yes, you may miss the daily presence of your child at home—but you also get to celebrate how your relationship is evolving into something richer, more independent, and built for the long run.