February can be a rough month. It’s usually cold, the days are still short, and let’s be honest, Valentine’s Day, which seems to start earlier and earlier like every consumer holiday, goes on for half of it. And if you’re dealing with divorce, Valentine’s Day feels like the rancid cherry on top of the giant shit sandwich you are already trying to make your way through. 

I was there, too, and I know how lonely this holiday can feel, even if you’re putting on a brave face. 

Here are a few strategies I’ve put together and others I’ve learned from my awesome clients who’ve been there, too.  

1. Buy yourself flowers

As Miley so brilliantly shares, we don’t need anyone else to remind us of our worth. Go buy yourself flowers. Literally. A big bouquet of the flowers you like best will remind you that you are strong, capable, and worthy. Change the narrative that only a partner can treat you.

2. Celebrate other love in your life

You can celebrate all kinds of love beyond a romantic relationship. Plan something with your kids, friends or family. Host dinner or a movie night, or write appreciation notes to those who have been there for you. Focusing on those you’re grateful for always feels good.

3. Limit social media consumption

This is probably good advice anytime, but Valentine’s Day posts can be especially triggering. Consider taking a break from social media or curating your feed to follow pages that inspire and uplift you instead of ones that make you feel sad or nostalgic.

4. Give back and volunteer

Helping others can be a great way to shift perspective and find meaning. Volunteering at a shelter, participating in a community project, or simply doing acts of kindness for others can bring fulfillment and remind you of the good in the world.

5. Seek support 

If you find yourself struggling, don’t wait to reach out to a therapist, coach, support group, or trusted friend. Processing your emotions with someone who understands can provide comfort and clarity.

6. Make plans

If you feel like it will be a tough day plan something enjoyable. Whether it’s a weekend away, getting outdoors, or indulging in a “me” day with your favorite activities, having a plan can help you stay positive and prevent feelings of sadness from taking over.

7. Reframe your perspective

Instead of seeing February as a painful reminder of what’s missing, view it as a fresh start. Focus on personal empowerment, reflection, and a chance to redefine love on your terms.

I know navigating Valentine’s Day and February isn’t easy, but with intentional actions and a positive mindset, it can be a time of growth. Remember, love starts from within, and this is an opportunity to prioritize yourself, create new traditions, and embrace the journey ahead with hope and strength. 💝 💪🏼