A Divorce Mission… What?? 🧐

by | Apr 10, 2024

As you work through the sh!t sandwich of divorce, you’ve probably never thought, “Wow, it might be useful to have a mission right now.” Am I right? It probably sounds like an unnecessary extra at a time when energy and resources are scarce.

On the other hand, I bet you have asked yourself these questions:

  • How do I make good decisions when I’m so emotional?
  • How can I minimize the impact of this situation on my kids and myself?
  • How do I know what will be best for my future, or what I’ll even want?
  • How can I stay true to my values when I’m so overwhelmed?

You might be surprised that a thoughtful mission statement, created for just this time in your life, can actually help you answer these questions with confidence and clarity.


Best-selling author, speaker and podcaster Andy Andrews, notes that a personal mission statement  is “A valuable way to set boundaries, provide clarity and direction in all areas of your life, clarify whether the decisions you’re making are in alignment with what you want for life, and help you face every decision and all adversity with calm, resolve and perspective.”

I like to describe it as a sounding board – a totally personalized, authentic, values-based, help-me-make-the-best-decision, please – tool to keep you focused on the big picture and refresh your perspective as needed. 

And it isn’t just the final statement that’s so useful. Writing it can also be an important way to process the past and make thoughtful choices about how your future can look different. What will you prioritize? What values do you bring to your decisions? What excites you about the future? In my experience, transformation lives in those places where we’re willing to consider a new perspective. As Leonard Cohen says, “there’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” A mission statement might offer just a tiny bit of light now, but as you move forward every day that light will grow, until you’re sitting squarely in sunshine. (And wouldn’t that feel amazing!? ☀️)

Where to start?

There are countless templates online to help you get started. I’ve reviewed several, and my favorite is Andy Andrew’s. It’s a free download that includes a list of questions to ask yourself as you write and common challenges that come up as well (hint: don’t believe it when you hear yourself saying, “I don’t know.”).

Wherever you look for inspiration, most mission statements follow this general structure:

  1. Identify your strengths
  2. Reflect on your values
  3. Evaluate how your skills can solve real-world issues.

I want to (what is important to you)  ___________________ Based on my values of ____________________ and my goals, so that (what is the legacy you want to leave)______________________________ I value (doing x) ________________________because (why it matters)__________________________. To do this, I will __________________________________________________________________

 Another helpful starting point is to think about who you are when you are at your best. Ask yourself:

  • I am at my best when?
  • I want to be my best self because?
  • What scares me about being my best self?
  • Values I demonstrate when I’m at my best include?

Now use it!

It’s a brutal irony that during divorce we need to be at our decision-making best despite feeling at our emotional worst. That’s just one of the reasons it’s useful to have tools and resources to count on as you make tough decisions. Think of your mission statement as your operating manual during divorce. 

When you’re facing those tough decisions, look at it again. Chances are it will show you exactly what you need to do if you’re willing to see it. From the seemingly small choices, like how do I respond to this text, to the bigger ones, like should I take a new job, or move, a mission statement reminds you of your larger purpose and who you want to be, and it is uniquely and entirely yours!

 I promise you won’t regret time spent creating this valuable resource.

 When you’re ready to get started, download my free workbook. It includes my favorite mission statement template, statement examples, and much more.

 Please let me know what you create! I’d love to see it and send a high five your way. ❤️