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My Divorce Will Take How Long?! ⏰ How Do I Handle the Wait?

by | Feb 26, 2025

I hear it all the time – how quickly can I get this done? And the follow-up, how long does divorce take on average?

It’s understandable that once you’ve decided to move forward with divorce, you want it to be done! It can seem like you’re waiting forever for your case to make its way through the snail’s-paced court system. If you feel like your life is in limbo while you wait for external forces you can’t control to give you permission to start living again, you’re not alone.

And while aspects of the divorce process timeline are out of your control, there are also some things you can do to make the process more manageable.

Here are things you can’t control:

  • The designated “cooling off” period some states (including Colorado) require between filing and when the court will grant a dissolution of the marriage. In Colorado, that time is 91 days, and it is uncommon for a case to be completed in that short timeframe.

  • The court’s calendar. It can take several weeks or more to get a court date. If you’re appearing in court, it’s likely that you must also factor in the attorneys’ schedules.

  • Due dates for requirements, such as financial disclosures.

  • Designated time for experts, such as business valuations, child & family investigators, parental responsibility evaluators, or others that may need to be hired, to complete their reviews.

Here are things you can control:

  • The process you choose. If you and your ex/spouse want legal support and guidance without the pressure of ending up in court, and with the opportunity to be creative and address the unique needs of your family’s situation, Collaborative Law could be an excellent option. If you’re interested, you can find more information about it at both Foothills Collaborative & South Denver Collaborative.

  • Anything that you and your ex/spouse can agree on lessens the number of issues experts will need to help you resolve and will likely move the process forward more efficiently.

  • Your perspective. Keep the long game in mind. The more conflict, the longer a case usually takes. Why? Because when the lawyers have to go back and forth about every issue, that takes time and money. Finding common ground wherever possible is to your advantage financially, emotionally, and timewise.

So, how long does a divorce take? An average divorce in Colorado takes somewhere between six and nine months. But even in those cases, the process can still feel long. Here are some tips to reduce your stress when you feel like the process won’t end.

Tips for Managing Divorce Stress While You Wait

  • Set goals and create a step-by-step plan to reach them so you are making progress you can track.

  • Then, take the wins! Did you do something today that felt better than yesterday? Notice what felt different and why, and see if you can build on that success.

  • Remember to focus on one day at a time. Put your energy into doing the very best you can do today without dwelling on the unknowns of the future or past mistakes.

  • Change your perspective. Literally get up and go outside, which has proven benefits for your mind and body. Walk or get exercise to calm your mind.

In the end, while the divorce process may feel slow and uncertain, focus on the ways you can positively impact your journey. By focusing on what you can control—whether it’s choosing a more collaborative path, celebrating small wins, or simply taking each day as it comes—you are actively and positively impacting your future. And every choice you make brings you closer to the life you deserve. 💪🏼💕

If you’re looking for resources to help guide you through the process, check out our free resources to get started.