Creating a Parenting Plan During Divorce: What You Need to Know

Did you know that one of the most critical components of ensuring a smooth transition for your children is establishing a well-structured parenting plan? Even in very amicable divorces a parenting plan is still required. This week’s blog is co-authored by my colleague, Temple Wielde Trigg, who is also a Certified Divorce Coach and parenting plan expert. Together we’ve put together the following list of parenting plan must-haves and we will address special considerations for high conflict situations in next week’s post.

Temple and I often help clients create the first draft of their parenting plan, which can then be reviewed with their attorney or mediator for questions, updates and finalization. When Temple and I work with clients our goal is to create a thorough plan that addresses the specifics of each client’s situation so it holds up over time and minimizes the chances of going back to court over things that could have been originally included. 

Following are tips we offer our clients. 

What is a Parenting Plan?

A parenting plan is a written document that outlines how parents will share responsibilities and make decisions about their children post-divorce. A comprehensive plan minimizes conflict, provides stability, and prioritizes the children’s well-being. 

The Basics of a Parenting Plan

1. Custody and Parenting Time Schedule – One of the most critical aspects of a parenting plan is determining how time will be shared between parents. Considerations include physical custody, major decision making, regular schedule, holiday schedule, vacation schedule, special events considerations, sick days, transportation and exchanges
2. Communication Guidelines Healthy communication is essential for effective co-parenting. A parenting plan should outline preferred methods of communication (text, phone, email, apps, etc.), emergency communication protocols, and specific steps to keep kids out of the middle of parental conflicts.
3. Decision-Making Responsibilities for important issues, including education, healthcare, religious and cultural practices, and how disagreements will be handled (i.e. an appointed legal decision-maker).
4. Conflict Resolution Methods – Even with a solid plan disagreements may occur. Establishing conflict resolution strategies in advance, such as mediation or the appointment of a parenting coordinator, can prevent issues from escalating.
5. Ongoing Financial Responsibilities – Your plan should include details about how extracurricular expenses, medical bills, and school expenses (including college) will be shared.
6. Guidelines for Introducing New Partners – Ground rules for when and how new romantic partners will be introduced can help avoid conflict later. 
7. Guidelines for Consistency and Stability – Specifically, how will both parents participate in school activities, does in-person communication need to be minimized and how will parents avoid personal discussions to stay focused on healthy coparenting?

These basic topics should be part of any parenting plan, and there are other elements you may want to consider as well. Here are just a few of the additional questions to consider:

• How will vacation time, kid and parent birthdays and other special events be handled?
• If one parent must travel on their parenting time does the other parent get right of first refusal for that time?
• On a drop-off day, which parent is responsible if the child needs to come home from school mid-day? 

Each family is unique so there are likely additional items to include as you draft your plan. In next week’s post we will address high conflict coparenting, including essential questions to ask as you draft your plan. 

Have a question for me right now? Schedule a session here.

Read Part 2 of this article here.