From Pain to Possibility: Six Divorce Lessons That Changed My Life (Even Scale a Via Ferrata!)

Divorce is often described as a loss, a failure, or even a tragedy. But as I reflect now on my own divorce, I am grateful to see it as one of the most important periods in my life. It was painful, yes. It was messy and exhausting. But navigating the process also revealed truths about myself that I never would have discovered otherwise.

If you’re in the middle of a divorce or still feeling the aftershocks, know this: you are stronger than you think. And on the other side of this, I absolutely believe there is a life waiting for you—one that you might not have imagined yet, but one that holds so much possibility.

Here are some of the most important lessons I learned from my divorce:

1. I’m Stronger Than I Thought

There were moments I didn’t think I could do it. The weight of uncertainty, heartbreak, and fear felt unbearable at times. But as the days turned into weeks and then months, I realized I was still standing. I was making decisions, taking care of myself and my children, and figuring out a new way forward.

Divorce didn’t break me. At the time, I would have preferred to continue with life as it was. But now I realize the situation forced me to be stronger than I thought I could be. I wasn’t looking for that but now that I know how strong I am, I won’t let myself forget again. And if you’re in the thick of it right now, I promise—there is a well of resilience inside you that you haven’t even tapped into yet. You will surprise yourself.

2. There Are Divorce Coaches and Other Professionals Who Can Help

For a long time, I thought I had to do it all alone. Like so many of my clients, I was initially hesitant to ask for help – from friends and family and to navigate the legal system, co-parenting, financial shifts, and emotional upheaval. But I was wrong.

I discovered there are professionals—divorce coaches, mediators, financial advisors, and therapists—who specialize in helping people through this transition. They provide guidance, reassurance, and practical strategies to help you move forward. If I could go back, I would have sought that help even sooner. You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself—there are people who genuinely want to support you.

If you’re looking for guidance, check out our free resources to help you through this process.

3. You Won’t Feel This Way Forever

In the early days of my divorce, it felt like the sadness would never lift. I wondered if I’d always feel broken, lonely, or full of sadness. But healing is a funny thing—it happens gradually, and often without us even noticing.

Eventually, I realized I was laughing more and crying less. The pain that once felt all-consuming began to shrink, and before I knew it, I was looking forward to things again.

If you’re in the middle of grief, trust that it won’t always be this intense. Time, growth, and new experiences will shift your perspective. You will smile again. You will love again. You will feel whole again.

4. There Are Benefits to Being a Single Parent

Single parenting was one of my greatest worries. Would my kids be okay? Would I be enough for them? How would I cope with the loneliness of parenting on my own?

What I didn’t expect was the incredible bond that formed between me and my kids. I got to create a home and routine that reflected my values and priorities. I learned that I could handle so much more than I thought, and that being a single parent doesn’t mean being a lesser parent—it means being a strong, intentional one.

Of course, it’s challenging, but it’s also rewarding. My children see me as someone who is capable, loving, and present. And best of all, I get to shape our life together in a way that’s healthy and loving for all of us.

5. I Am More Patient Than I Realized

This was a big one for me because I would not describe myself as a patient person. But healing doesn’t happen overnight. Co-parenting takes time to figure out. Learning how to trust again is a gradual process.

My divorce taught me the value of allowing things to unfold in their own time. I learned to breathe through the tough moments, to give myself grace when I stumbled, and to trust that I was making progress, even when it didn’t feel like it.

This patience didn’t just help me through my divorce—I work harder now to be more patient in every aspect of my life.

6. I Deserve—and Have Found—A Life I Never Would Have Imagined

If you had told me years ago that I would be living the life I have now, I wouldn’t have believed you. After 20 years of marriage, I was afraid of the unknown, of starting over, of what life without my ex would look like.

But now? I am grateful for all of it, including my marriage because it got me to where I am now.

I have built a life that reflects who I truly am. I’ve embraced a new career helping others navigate this challenging period successfully, which is absolutely the work I’m meant to do. I’ve discovered passions I never had time for before. I’ve met new people (including my amazing life partner and his kids!) and embraced the freedom to create this new life. I’ve learned to love myself in ways I never did before, and that has resulted in a whole new perspective on my work and relationships.

Divorce isn’t just about endings—it’s about beginnings. It’s about realizing that you are not defined by a relationship that didn’t work, but by the person you become after it.

So if you’re in the middle of this storm, hold on. There is a version of you that you haven’t met yet—one who is wiser, stronger, and more fulfilled than you can imagine. Trust the process. Your new life is waiting. 💕

For support as you move forward, reach out through our contact page for guidance.