Welcome

To the February 4, 2024 issue of my new monthly newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

“Making the Must-Do’s Manageable.”

This is the way a client recently described our work together, and I love it!

Other descriptors I hear are project manager, and divorce doula.

However it’s titled, a divorce coach should be your advocate, thinking partner, provide emotional support, professional guidance and help you work to show up as your best self, even (and especially!) when doing so feels out of reach.

In my latest blog post, What Does A Divorce Coach Do? I share specific examples of how I’m supporting clients as they navigate their divorce process. Each one is different – read the full article here and let me know what you think!

I have many other tools and articles to help you in this process on my website, and you are always welcome to reach out with questions. I’m happy to help!

Do you have a tough question? Ask away. I’ll find the right experts to weigh in and make sure you’re getting the input you need.

Q: My spouse and I came up with an agreement to end our marriage but we want to make sure we didn’t miss anything. Do we have to hire a lawyer and pay a significant retainer? Is there another way to do this?

A: Yes! Many firms and attorneys offer “unbundled” services, which means they are willing to charge an hourly or flat rate to review your paperwork and answer your questions, but they are not hired to represent you.

Here are a few things you might have an attorney assist with on this basis:

• Understanding specific terms and issues in your case
• Prepare for any hearings
• Prepare paperwork for filing
• Review or draft an agreement that you have come up with
• Clarify the legal process

There are important aspects of this approach to remember:

• Unbundled service does not equal representation – you are still “pro se,” or representing yourself.
• You are solely responsible for meeting all court dates, deadlines, requests and for any communication with the court.
• The attorney you hire in this capacity won’t represent you in court, or reach out / respond to your spouse’s counsel.

I always recommend that an attorney review your agreement to make sure it will stand the test of time and meets all legal requirements. With awareness, unbundled services can be a great way to accomplish this.

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

This is the book you need if you’re struggling to communicate well with your coparent. The author, Bill Eddy, also co-founded The High Conflict Institute, and is widely recognized for his work helping people in all different situations to improve communication and reduce conflict.

Bill Eddy’s book BIFF (Brief, Informative, Factual, Firm) is practical, supportive, and most important – it is incredibly effective. You’ll learn to prioritize, set and keep boundaries and feel more confident in your communication.

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.