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Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

Do You Have a Divorce Coach?

Follow These Tips to Maximize Your Investment and Improve Your Divorce Process 💥

You may already know that divorce coaching is designed to help you better navigate the many emotional and practical challenges that arise during divorce. A good divorce coach will help you reduce stress and overwhelm and importantly, help you make informed decisions that serve your best interests in both the short and long term.

This week I share a few of my favorite ways to support clients (some may surprise you!)

Here’s a short list:

📔 Mediation prep (see last week’s article focused entirely on this important topic)

👩‍👧‍👦 Your parenting plan (one of the most effective and impactful ways I help)

📲 Improving communication

😢 Emotional overwhelm

Divorce is definitely a shit sandwich. 💩🥪

But you don’t have to eat the foot long version. And always remember, you don’t have to do it all alone! 💝 💪

Question: 

My ex and I seem to have such different parenting styles lately. I don’t want to pick a fight but some things, like rules about homework and bedtime, seem important to keep aligned. I’m worried that a lack of consistency between houses is hurting the kids. 

Answer: 

You’re right that consistency is important for kids, but there will naturally be some differences in parenting styles that are expected. Can you and your ex focus on establishing a few non-negotiable rules that you can agree on, such as screen time or bedtimes? 

If you are both interested in doing so, have that conversation thoughtfully and with intention. For example, set the agenda ahead of time, designate 30-60 minutes (or whatever you think is appropriate) and only discuss the agreed-upon topic. Hopefully it will go well and you can take the win before coming back to address another issue. 

If your coparent is not interested in talking about establishing consistency between your houses, focus on providing it in your home. As difficult as it is, you aren’t able to control what happens at the other parent’s house. Focus instead on what you can do: provide a reliable, loving, safe and supportive home where you are the best parent possible on your time. That is always something you can control, and that I promise will continue to pay dividends over time. 💪 💝

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

On a repeat episode of the renown podcast, This American Life, the topic was breakups. The episode includes:

– A woman’s break-up song (written with the help of Phil Collins)

– An eight year-old’s perspective about her parents’ divorce, and

– Insights from a collaboratively trained divorce attorney

There’s even a segment from the dog.

This is a relatable and thought-provoking episode that reminds us that many others have been there, too. 💔

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.