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Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

Change it up – Use These Tips to Create Healthy New Communication Habits During and Post-Divorce

A critical aspect of defining a new relationship with your spouse / ex is figuring out how best to share important information in a timely and appropriate way. This can be challenging as it often requires unlearning habits that have been in place a long time. Not only do old habits die hard, but there are also a range of complicated feelings, such as hurt, anger and frustration, that are likely in the way now.

It’s important to recognize that it will take work to create new, healthy patterns. It won’t happen if you just hope for the best.

In this week’s blog post I’ve put together specific ways to break old patterns, create new ones for this new version of your relationship, and some  troubleshooting tips to go back to when you’ve tried everything.

There’s also a chart you can use to determine how you and your spouse can communicate productive and respectful.  💝💪

Do you have a tough question? Ask away. I’ll find the right experts to weigh in and make sure you’re getting the input you need.

Question:

Last week I took my kids to the zoo and let them each pick out a stuffed animal souvenir when we left. Later that day they transitioned homes and took the stuffies with them. I know they won’t remember to bring them back and I was upset watching them walk out with something that I got for them and that reminded me of a special day we had. Can I ask my ex to send them back with the kids? 

Answer: 

You can, but before you do I suggest thinking about what you really want from this situation. Are you focusing on what you want, or what’s best for the kids?

I know it’s frustrating to see the kids leave with something that you feel belongs at your house, but what if they want it with them as a reminder of you and the special day they had? Even if they just wanted their new toy with them, isn’t that the point of a special gift, that they enjoy it and want it nearby? However you choose to view it, I’d offer that this is an opportunity to take the high road and avoid an argument. Even more importantly, by letting this one go you put the kids first and let them control something during a time when that likely feels elusive.

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

You probably know already that I’m passionate about using communications to help you improve the divorce process. To that end, I’ve created a free communications planner to guide you through creating and sharing your authentic messages with the important people in your life. 

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.