Welcome

To my newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

Special Co-Authored Post Part II ➡️ Specific Strategies for High-Conflict Co-Parenting 

Last week’s blog post covered the fundamentals of building a strong parenting plan.

This week, my colleague Temple Trigg and I focus on the specific things to include in your plan to manage high-conflict situations, including:

• Civil Communicator – a coparenting app specific to high conflict coparenting, monitored by a live person
• Parallel Parenting – a parenting approach that limits direct communication between the adults and facilitates independent parenting.
• These critical questions: “How can this parenting plan protect me?” and “How can this parenting plan be used against me?” 

Read the full post for these and many other valuable recommendations you don’t want to leave out of your plan.

AND DON’T FORGET…

If you’re creating your parenting plan this is the LAST WEEK to sign-up for our one-time Parenting Plan Workshop 🚀

Join us on Thursday, April 3, from 5-7 pm – you’ll get personalized guidance to help you create a plan that truly supports your family.

Why is it so important to get your parenting plan right?

✅ It’s easier—and far less expensive—to include key details now rather than battle over changes in court later.
✅ You can always loosen boundaries over time, but having them in place early can be crucial post-divorce.
✅ A well-thought-out plan reduces conflict and keeps the focus where it belongs—on your kids.

If you’re navigating divorce and working on your parenting plan, these posts and our workshop are for YOU! We’d love to see you there and provide one-on-one support to help you build the best plan for your family. 💝💪

Question: 

My ex and I usually do a decent job co-parenting, but recently we’ve been arguing and it’s happened in front of the kids (ages 6 and 11). Should I talk to them about it or just let it go and make sure it doesn’t continue to happen?

Answer: 

First, everyone makes mistakes! In this situation I see two separate issues. The first is how to handle the questions and anxiety your kids may have about what they heard, and the second is how to reduce the chances of it happening again.

First, I would recommend you talk with the kids. Tell them you’re sorry for what happened, that sometimes adults get upset just like kids do, but you’re sorry you raised your voice. Remind them that nothing that happened is their fault and ask if they have any questions. Modeling accountability and vulnerability will help your kids learn it’s safe and healthy for them to do the same.

Second, think about why arguments have escalated lately. Is it a particular topic that triggers one or both of you, or a situation, such as a transition? Make an effort not to discuss those topics while the kids are there, and it may be worth communicating about this issue via text or email, even temporarily. In short, give yourself every opportunity to succeed, which may include having a message ready if something does come up, i.e. “I don’t want to talk about this now. Let’s discuss it another time.” 

Advance planning will help you be able to walk away without having engaged in an argument.

💪 💝

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

In this valuable podcast episode of Ask Lisa, psychologist and national best-selling author Dr. Lisa Damour address an issue so many divorced parents face:

How to Parent with an Ex Who Doesn’t Share My Values?

She tackles talking to your kids about the different rules at different houses, supporting your kids’ love of their other parent, even when you disagree with him/her, and a tip I love about how to lovingly recognize attributes from your ex in your child.

I’ve recommended other episodes of this podcast and the books written by Dr. Damour. Check out her website for more information! 💝

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.