Welcome
To my newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich
(Because it is, right?!)
What is Gaslighting? Is it Happening to Me?
You might be familiar with the term, gaslighting, but did you know it’s officially called a “form of abuse, most often perpetrated within romantic relationships?”
Do you know what to do if it’s happening to you?
Check out this week’s article for more information on the different kinds of gaslighting and what to do about it.
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Do you have a tough question? Ask away. I’ll find the right experts to weigh in and make sure you’re getting the input you need.
Question: My son’s birthday is coming up and I’m pretty sure my ex has forgotten about it (my son will be 20). Should I remind him? Answer: In short: no. As difficult as this is, you are no longer responsible for planning and coordinating your ex’s life. It is his responsibility to create and maintain his own calendar – even though situations like this may occur. If your child was younger I might suggest a different approach. However, as a young adult, your son and his father have their own relationship that isn’t yours to manage or fix. You can support your son if he comes to you, but doing so will hopefully include encouraging him to communicate directly with his dad about how he feels. One of the most difficult post-divorce adjustments can be the change in family responsibilities and dynamics, and it’s understandable that you want to protect your son from hurt feelings. Hopefully your ex will remember his birthday! But if he doesn’t, this could be a catalyst for needed change in the relationship. 💪💝Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!
Have you tried the 10-10-10 rule?
What did you do the last time you found yourself struggling to make a good decision in the heat of an argument, or when you were emotionally triggered?
Were you able to pause, breathe, and find perspective before making a decision? Even if you wanted to, we rarely do our best thinking when adrenaline is flowing and we’re emotionally charged.
Next time you’re there try this approach ⬇️
Ask yourself how you will feel about this same situation
✅ 10 hours
✅ 10 weeks
✅ 10 months from now
Will it matter? What aspects of the situation are most important? Can you focus on those?
Try it! I’d love to hear what you think.
➡️ And BTW, this is a great tool to help your kids manage tough situations as well. See if you can do it together the next time something challenging occurs. 💜
I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️ program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.
My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.
I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorce™ online course.