Since the holidays are quickly approaching, this edition will focus on tips to reduce seasonal stress and hopefully, find ways to enjoy it a bit. Feel free to forward these tips to friends, family, and clients, and for those looking for a little more support, attend my FREE webinar on navigating the holidays on Friday, November 17 at noon, MST. The webinar will offer practical tips and leave plenty of time for questions. Participants will also get my Better Than Before Divorce™️ communications workbook, which they can use to help them show up as their best self during divorce, create messages for friends and family, and much more.
Are the upcoming holidays making you merry or miserable?
If the thought of the holidays is making you want to get back in bed and come out in January, I understand. Dealing with divorce or separation is overwhelming enough without the addition of forced cheer and challenging expectations. If you’re struggling to imagine a way through these next couple months, try starting with these tips.
1. Think about what you really want this season and write it down. Is it a quiet gathering, a vacation, some alone time, a visit to someone you haven’t seen for a while? The holidays do not have to mean you do exactly what you’ve always done. It might be a relief to open your mind to other options.
2. Don’t assume your kids want business as usual either. Ask them what feels right to them, then listen to the answer and be willing to accommodate. You may find that you’re aligned, or that what they want is very doable with a little creativity.
3. Set the tone you want. What would happen if you committed to taking the high road throughout the holidays, regardless of any choice your ex might make? What might that mean for your happiness this season? The effort could positively impact your wellbeing well beyond the holidays.
4. Identify your (REAL) triggers. Challenge yourself to be honest about the source of your stress, as it will help you solve the problem. Is it the interaction with your ex? Being alone while the kids are with the other parent? Is it a change in your family traditions? Are you worried about disappointing the kids? Once you’ve identified the source(s) of stress, move to #5.
5. Create a plan to address them and be specific. For example, if you’re worried about being alone, don’t wait to be asked – make plans. Chances are your friends and family would love to include you but may not know to ask.Whatever you want to do, taking action, vs. passively waiting for an invitation, is an important way to regain control and positively change your perspective.
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I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️ program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.
My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.