Summer is Almost Here…Is Your Coparenting Schedule Ready?
Summer brings longer days and looser routines which can be great, but when you have to deal with changing schedules, travel plans, and increased communications with your coparent, it can also be stressful.
So how do you survive (and dare I say, enjoy) summer as a co-parent?
As usual, the situation improves with flexibility, communication, and prioritizing your children’s summer experiences over being “right.”
Here are some tips to help you get through it all while keeping your sanity and relationships intact.
1. Expect (and Embrace) the Schedule Shift
Let’s be honest: summer is more than just a school holiday without schoolwork. It follows a radically different rhythm.
You and co-parent may request time swaps, and your children may also have their own thoughts. It’s ideal to keep to the existing parenting plan, and, if you and your coparent can manage it, you all might benefit from a bit more flexibility as well.
What helps? Planning ahead—together. Even if it’s not the beginning of the season, it’s never too late to sit down (or Zoom in) and compare schedules. Talk through:
- Vacation arrangements for both sides
- Camp schedules and transportation
- Long weekends or extended family gatherings
- Any work trips or major commitments
Getting everything out in the open early reduces last-minute shocks and strain.
2. Talk About Plans Without Turning It into a Fight
For some, it’s a logistical discussion. For others, it’s an emotional minefield.
Here’s your cheat code: focus on the kids and speak like you’re on the same team (even if you’re definitely not feeling like teammates).
Instead of:
“You always take more time than you’re supposed to.”
Try:
“I’d like to make sure the kids get meaningful time with both of us this summer. Can we look at the calendar together and see what works?”
This isn’t about winning the summer. It’s about helping your kids have memories with both parents—and keeping them out of the middle.
3. Drop-Offs, Pickups, and the People Who Help
Maybe your ex’s new spouse is the one showing up at drop-off. Or your partner is coming along on your vacation with the kids. These situations can be awkward (or downright painful), even when everyone is trying their best.
If you’re triggered by this try to focus on your kids and don’t engage in a personal back-and-forth with your ex.
Prioritize safety, communication, and consistency. You don’t have to enjoy the arrangement; just make it work for the kids.
Tip: If a new person will be involved in pick-ups or drop-offs, give everyone a heads up. A simple text like,
”Just a heads up that Jordan will be picking the kids up from camp on Tuesday—let me know if you want his number,” can go a long way in reducing stress and keeping things respectful.
4. Vacation Boundaries & Bonus Time
Family vacations may be great until they turn into a battleground for arguments about “who got more time” or “why didn’t you tell me you were going out of state.”
Avoid misunderstandings by:
- Confirming vacation dates in writing (text or email is fine)
- Sharing basic travel plans, especially if you’re going out of town
- Being willing to trade time if needed, and trusting it will be reciprocated
5. Keep the Big Picture in Sight
Summer is short, but your co-parenting relationship is long.
It’s important to set boundaries, ask for clarity, and it’s definitely understandable if you feel annoyed or frustrated. Try not to let short-term tension steal long-term peace. Your kids are watching how you handle the tricky interactions and they benefit most when you model calm, respectful collaboration.
With some planning, a little patience, and grace for yourself and others, you can help make the summer a season your kids remember for the right reasons.
Q&A
Q: My ex’s new partner is now doing some of the pickups and drop-offs. I’m not thrilled about it I hate it but my kids don’t seem to mind. What should I do?
A: First, take a breath. This is one of those moments in co-parenting where your feelings are valid, and your kids’ experience matters as well. just as much. It’s okay to It’s perfectly normal to feel uncomfortable when new people are looped into routines that used to be just yours and your co-parent’s.
But here’s the thing: if the new partner is respectful, punctual, and your kids feel safe, this can actually be a sign of a stable support system, which benefits your kids in the long run.
You don’t have to love the arrangement. But you can set some healthy ground rules:
- Ask for a heads-up if someone new will be handling transportation.
- Confirm emergency contact info, just in case.
- Keep the communication focused on logistics, not emotions.
Remember, this isn’t about liking or trusting your ex’s new partner. It’s about making sure your kids feel secure and showing them that adults can handle transitions with maturity and grace. That’s a powerful example to set.
RESOURCE:
Did you miss this webinar on how to establish healthy coparenting and manage it during difficult times? The replay is now live and summer planning is a great time for a communications refresh!
Webinar Replay – Communicate With My Ex? Well, You Don’t Know My Ex! | The Harris Law Firm