Blog

Maybe it’s a back and forth about an upcoming event with the kids, or finances, or one of you requested a schedule change. Sometimes, the topic doesn’t matter at all – if you’re in a negative cycle, any communication can devolve into blaming and disparaging, causing...

A few months ago, I worked with a divorcing couple to help them set an amicable and intentional foundation from which to coparent and communicate with friends, family and each other as they transitioned their relationship. A few months after they completed their...

In any divorce involving children, talking to them about the situation is one of the hardest things you’ll do. Some thoughtful planning will help reduce their anxiety and yours and will help you stay focused on the kids during this tough conversation. Start by...

A critical aspect of defining a new relationship with your spouse / ex is figuring out how best to share important information in a timely and appropriate way. This can be challenging as it often requires unlearning habits that have been in place a long time. Not only...

You probably know that a “Hot Button” is an emotional or controversial issue or concern that triggers an immediate, intense reaction. Sound familiar? Most of us can think of at least one topic that can quickly turn a discussion into an epic meltdown, especially during...

Last month I wrote about how grateful I am that my moms – my mom and stepmom – made such an effort to create a respectful blended family, and the many ways in which their efforts have paid off over the years. As I noted in that post, my dad also played a critical role...

I’m in a Facebook group for divorced women 40+, and one of the most common threads of discussion involves the emotional rollercoaster so many of us experience as we work to adjust to this new reality. Of course, this is different for each person. I have a client who...

According to TherapistAid.com, personal boundaries are “the limits and rules we set for ourselves within relationships.” Setting healthy boundaries can be difficult even in the best of circumstances, so it’s understandable that it takes hard work and intention to...

How to engage a Power Statement when you need a reminder In season two of Ted Lasso you may remember Rebecca explaining to Keeley and Nate what she does to boost her confidence before she goes into a room of intimidating football club chairmen. She describes how she...

When my parents got divorced, I was four and my sister was two. Neither of us remember much from that time, but we do remember when our dad and stepmom got married two years later. She also had two kids, and though it would be many years until the four kids lived...

Have you ever wished you could walk through the world like a 12th century knight – protected from hearing and seeing the things you don’t feel ready to handle? Armor on and shield out so everything unpleasant and unwanted stays far away? Now that would be amazing....

Have you set goals for your divorce? (Don’t worry - I assume “Get it the hell over with,” is already on the list! 🤣) If you’ve been reading my blog for a while (I’m so glad you’re here!), you know the tools I share are all designed to help you engage your strengths so...

As you work through the sh!t sandwich of divorce, you’ve probably never thought, “Wow, it might be useful to have a mission right now.” Am I right? It probably sounds like an unnecessary extra at a time when energy and resources are scarce. On the other hand, I bet...

This week I have been thinking about the relationship I have with my grown-up kids, 24-year-old twins, Hannah and Max. They both live far from home now, but I was lucky enough to get the three of us together for a weekend recently and I’ve been collecting my thoughts...