To Issue #2 of my new monthly newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich
(Because it is, right?!)
Thanks to everyone who joined my webinar on November 17. We had a great discussion about managing stress during the holiday season. If you missed it, here are two of my favorite take-aways, and a longer list of tips can be found here.
Fine is good enough – everything does not have to be perfect this season. Give yourself permission to make this year different – you might even find new things you want to stick with.
Identify your triggers and set yourself up to succeed. A plan for the tough situations will increase your confidence and help you handle things in a way you’ll be proud of.
If the thought of getting through December feels completely overwhelming, don’t be afraid to ask for help!
Here are a few ways to engage support.
1. Choose thoughtfully. Reach out to a friend or family member who has your back 100% and will support you whatever you need.
2. Make your ask specific: “Can I go with you to the party,” or, “Will you save me if you see me talking to (person) for more than five minutes?,” or, “Can we leave by 9:00?”
3. If you want to provide those you love with an update on your status but the thought of talking to everyone is too overwhelming, have someone help you. Your trusted person can share your message so you don’t have to.
4. Focus on gratitude as much as possible. Start each day by thinking of at least one thing you’re grateful for and come back to it anytime during the day when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Gratitude almost always helps you shift perspective.
5. Don’t take the calls you aren’t ready to take. The people who matter will be there when you’re up to it.
6. And potentially the most important thing you can do – recognize that every situation is unique, and you are entitled to handle yours in the way that feels right to you. Be kind to yourself and open to possibility. The reality is that any one of us may not respond to a crisis in the way we hope or anticipate. It’s ok. Let your expectations go and deal with each moment the best you can.
A client recently asked me to how to handle the tricky issue of holiday cards. Her family isn’t yet aware of her upcoming split, and she wanted to continue her tradition of sending a card. She had the good idea to only photograph the kids and keep the greeting simple.
I love this, and I’ll add that sending a card should make you happy! If it feels sad or overwhelming, consider taking a break this year.
Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!
Do you know about Collaborative Divorce in Colorado?
I’m a proud member of Colorado Collaborative Divorce Professionals, and highly recommend you consider collaboration if you’re researching options for your family. If you have questions, or wonder if it’s right for you, let’s talk! The process is designed to put kids and family first to reduce conflict and improve outcomes.
Collaborative Divorce is a better alternative to a litigated divorce. It is a team approach to divorce using a friendly and Collaborative process that keeps you in control of your future, and maintains what is most important: family, finances, and emotional health.
Collaborative Divorce is a method for dissolving a marriage where participants work with a team of specifically trained professionals to craft their own agreements. Clients work together in a respectful way, keeping in mind the importance of protecting their children and others who may be involved out of conflict. Decisions are made by the participants without the involvement of a judge or other third-party decision maker.
Each issue I’ll share a special offer JUST for clients and newsletter subscribers.
This month’s special offer is a discount on my new online coaching option, The Better Than Before Divorce™️ Course. For only $150 (normally $220) this new course gives you the tools and confidence you need to navigate the emotional aspects of divorce and come out BETTER on the other side – all from home, on your own time, using short videos and exercises you can customize.
There are four modules with more than 2.5 hours of content on topics including goal setting, boundaries, communication strategies and conflict management. There are also two Bonus Videos: Maximizing the Attorney / Client Relationship and Your Best Self Toolbox – both of which you’ll rely on throughout your process.
Click below and use the code: happyholidays to get your discount and start moving toward your Next Best You today!
I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️ program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.
My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.