To my February 13, 2024 newsletter,
Divorce is A Shit Sandwich

(Because it is, right?!)

My latest blog post is titled, What if Winning in Divorce isn’t What You Think?” Building on January’s theme, perspective, I dig a little deeper into how a different view of winning will give you many more opportunities to succeed!

 Try asking yourself these questions:

  1. What is my current perspective on winning/losing in this divorce?
  2. Am I part of the problem or the solution? Both? If I’m not part of the solution, how could I be? What’s stopping me? (Hint: is it fear? Fear of giving in, losing, being out of control, being perceived as weak?)
  3. On a scale of 1-10, what is my willingness to compromise? Why or why not? What would it take for me to move the scale two points toward compromise?
  4. How might I benefit if I was more willing to compromise?
  5. Is there anything I’d be willing to compromise on? Alternatively, what is most important to me / what is something I’d like my spouse to compromise on? Another way of looking at this: Is there some way we could both get a win here?

For the full article and many others, visit my website, and you are always welcome to reach out with questions. I’m happy to help!

Do you have a tough question? Ask away. I’ll find the right experts to weigh in and make sure you’re getting the input you need.

Q: I need to move forward with my divorce. What should I do first?

A: I recommend everyone start with these three important steps: 

  1. Educate yourself about the divorce laws in your state. A simple search online will give you important basic information about how your state addresses child support and alimony, custody, grounds for divorce, division of property and more. Make a list of any questions you have so you can ask a professional.
  2. Make a list of your financial accounts and information. Whether you create a spreadsheet or start writing on the back of an old flyer, make a list of investments, bank accounts, real estate holdings, insurance, etc. Simply list everything you can think of, add account numbers and passwords if you have them, and whose name they are in. Put it somewhere safe and add to it as you can. This is an important part of divorce and is an area of stress for many, so it can be really empowering to get started. Remember, you don’t need to do it all at once!
  3. Think about the support you’ll need. Can you think of someone who has your back 100%? Don’t be afraid to directly ask for their support – they may not know what you need and how best to be there for you, but having them committed to your team is so important! It’s also valuable to recognize that this process is often draining and may distract you from doing things you want and need to do, like spending quality time with your kids or giving yourself time to recharge. To accomplish these important tasks, make a list of priorities, and then align your asks for help to meet those needs. Do you want to be home for dinner with your kids? Maybe someone can bring by a meal? Need to get in a workout, or get in some alone time? Ask for carpool help or a playdate.

Want more info? Download my free communications planner and First Steps Checklist to guide you through creating talking points for friends and family, and reminders of the important things you need to do.

Here I’ll share some of the books, websites, podcasts and experts to help make your journey a little less shitty!

I recently had the pleasure of joining New Leaf Family CEO & Attorney, Christopher Anderson, for a webinar on how to be your best self during divorce.

We talked about tools to use when you’re overwhelmed, how to set a positive tone and the single most important thing you can do first. (HINT: watch the replay for all the details👇 👇 👇

I am a corporate communications VP turned Certified Divorce Coach, and I created the Better Than Before Divorce™️  program for those early in the divorce process who want to reduce the impact of divorce on themselves and their children, minimize conflict and come out BETTER on the other side. Throughout my career I have worked to help executives, teams and individuals communicate succinctly, with clarity, intention, and impact, and I love using these skills to provide support and confidence to women and men tangled in the web of divorce.

My Better Than Before Divorce™️ clients benefit from my 25+ years of experience in crisis communications, branding and marketing, as well as my calm strength and commitment to tangible results. I am also a trained mediator, I’ve completed Colorado’s Collaborative Divorce Level I and II trainings, and I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an M.S. in Organizational Dynamics from the University of Pennsylvania.

I hope you found this information useful. Please share your feedback HERE anytime, and visit the rest my website, betterthanbeforedivorce.com, for more information on private coaching, or the Better Than Before Divorceonline course.